There comes a time when life feels like a race we never actually signed up for. Without realizing it, we start measuring our lives against old classmates who are already married, colleagues climbing the corporate ladder, or peers who seem to have found their footing much earlier. It inevitably triggers a quiet, nagging anxiety: “Am I falling behind?”
This exact feeling hung heavy in the air during Peni’s set at Heartfelt’s Pesta Paripurna HF Episode 28, held at Hi5 Lounge on Sunday, June 14. In front of a packed room of about two hundred people, the band brought to life tracks from their latest album, *30*—a record born from the raw anxieties of entering one’s third decade.
The night kicked off with a set by The Wavings, followed by Peni’s showcase of 30, a performance by Surabaya-based outfit Timeless, and wrapped up with a high-energy set by punk darlings The Jansen. Yet, amid this stellar lineup, Peni’s showcase offered a uniquely intimate experience. It wasn’t just a standard album release promo; it felt like a collective therapy session. The songs resonated deeply with almost everyone in the room.
Peni performed with a striking, unpretentious sincerity. There was no rock-star posturing or artificial distance. Instead, each track felt like an honest conversation born from personal struggles. Songs like “30” and “Gejolak” (Turbulence) drew the loudest cheers, capturing the exact headspace of anyone who has ever questioned their direction, future, or personal achievements.
Speaking after the show, band members Ken Baruna and Gilang shared that 30 was born out of a phase they call “kemerungsung“—a Javanese term for that restless, suffocating feeling when life feels stagnant while the clock keeps ticking. It is a grueling phase, especially when societal milestones loom large and your own goals feel painfully out of reach.
Yet, the album doesn’t just wallow in the dread of getting older.
Instead, Ken believes that what we perceive as “being late” is often just things happening when they are meant to. Life has no universal timeline. What someone achieves at twenty shouldn’t dictate another’s path. Some things only take shape when we are truly ready to receive them.
This philosophy mirrors Peni’s own journey. Once 30was recorded and released, the band members’ lives began to shift. Career stability fell into place, business ventures took off, and some stepped into new chapters of family life. It was as if pouring their anxieties into the music unlocked the very answers they were searching for. In their post-show chat, they summed it up beautifully: “creative work is a prayer“.
That phrase might sound cliché out of context, but hearing the story behind the creative process of 30 makes it ring entirely true. The album was born out of anxiety, uncertainty, and unanswered questions. Yet, once the project was finished, the band members found the peace they had been looking for.
One of the most raw moments on the album is a song about loss, written by Ken shortly after his mother passed away. To this day, the track is too emotionally heavy to perform live; even during recording, the grief was palpable. At this juncture, 30transcends a simple milestone album; it becomes a diary of grief, acceptance, and the messy process of navigating a life that refuses to go as planned.
This emotional honesty is why the album strikes such a chord. It’s not because everyone listening is thirty, but because everyone has, at some point, felt left behind.
Yet, Peni isn’t planning on staying in that melancholic space for long. While most bands would still be basking in the glow of a new release, Peni is already working on their next record. With demos already finalized, they are ready to enter the studio. If 30was defined by anxiety and restlessness, their next chapter promises a brighter, more optimistic outlook.
It proves that 30was never a finish line, but a bridge. It’s a time capsule of a period defined by doubt, right before realizing that life goes on.
That night at Hi5 Lounge, Peni’s songs felt like letters that finally found their destination. Not because they solved all of life’s mysteries, but because they had the courage to say, “It’s okay if things didn’t go to plan. Everyone is on their own clock. Being late doesn’t mean you’ve failed.”
Near the end of our conversation, Ken quoted a lyric from indie rock band The Jeblogs’ song “Sambutlah”:
“Mungkin kita sampai, mungkin saja tidak. Tugas kita hanya berjalan (Maybe we’ll make it, maybe we won’t. Our only job is to keep walking).”
Ultimately, that is the beating heart of 30.
It’s not about who gets there first; it’s about having the courage to keep moving, trusting your own timeline.